The Green Monster

I drive an ugly car.

I have to admit it which is half the battle. The thing has been paid off for years and my wife and I decided we'd run it into the ground (and I'd say it's definitely pushing that.) Being my daily drive is half of my wife's to work, I am stuck with what we have affectionately called "The Green Machine."( I prefer The Green Monster.)

It's a green 1995 Saturn and it ain't pretty folks. The paint is peeling off several spots on its hide and an unfortunate exit from a parking spot in a ramp left the right side mirror broken and dangling on the side. Like I said it ain't pretty. It isn't really fun to drive either since going anything over 40 mph sounds like the inside of a jet engine inside the car. Bad enough that I am going deaf just so I can listen to my radio. The only thoughts that keep me from crashing this abomination into a concrete wall is the fact I don't have to pay someone a car payment for the privilege of driving it and I only have to gas it up once a month.


Some days this is what I'd like to do to it.

Now you know my daily hell each day as I trek to work and back. The thought I have each time I walk to my car is: I hope my fellow co workers and others on the road don't look at this abysmal sack of crap and think any less of it's driver. I'm sure they do--I see crap ass cars on the road and wonder about the people driving them. Yeah it's a judgment thing and, most times, I catch myself.

I am a good driver though haven't had a ticket in over 10 years haven't had any accidents in close to 15 years. I like traffic laws (though I speed on occasion) which is a habit I had to learn. I was a speed demon as a teen. I got 5 speeding tix in a span of one year so I had a suspended license for a year while I was just starting college (nothing like having the parents come pick you up from college classes cause you can't drive yourself home.)

Like my beater car, I worry that I have "beater" stories. Screenplays that look like crap on the outside but have a heart on the inside. Maybe a good thing because that fear drives me to push myself more to break apart the crappy outside that may send it to the junk pile. Also, I am finding out that I am being drawn outside of what was my comfort zone for stories and ideas I didn't see as interesting or important to tell even a few years ago.

Judgment can be a double edged sword because while it can cause you to avoid something that in the end may be a good thing. It too may cause you prove yourself because you know that vile thing,which causes us to presume things about someone or something without all the details, is in all our hearts.

It's just a matter of what you do with it.

Filled up the Green Monster yesterday so I'm good to go for another month.

Just stop staring at me at the stoplights, please.